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The Difference Engine

by Damim

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Out of ordinary perception Mortal words appear animal Obsessed: fixated on survival Notions that languish in the folds Inhuman worlds are shaken A few timeless hours - outer inner realms Directly apprehended, unconditionally This experience is mine Boredom - what's your excuse? So shaped in the hearths our lives Your eyes through others For a beat out of time You listen Through fields of the world every night The implacable voice of unreason Of the same alien doubt Enduring, demonic, human Possessed It speaks Disturbs me Open my eyes Feel the absurd spectre Examine Thoughts of one's own death - of demise That will not be mentioned Fear - prepare to re-enter Tectonic shifting sum Fleeting Fever reeling - turning higher Persistence of false memory Stare us into the deep dark void Un-constricting reality Fed on the ashes of what I thought was a lie Fevered Pre-scient illusion struggling Infused with meaning beyond reach Sublime the catharsis required Feeding the illusion Keep the mind away From what mattered Until there was no difference Between laughter and weeping Between the nodes of his chain Of desperate moments Between laughter and weeping More real than the sun
Eyeballing 04:50
No will to live, Dream, defy Loathsome husk Of what I thought I knew - shadow A shell Churned with dread - abject beast Expunged, thrown From Moloch passed down - spurious Into a tomb of existence - delirious Aching out for you Always, always Always been another Slowly climb Cycle into the spiral From despair into mania The end you'll never I've achieved that high Feeding the beasts of time See through darkness shine I'm boiling inside of you With all my strength I struck And felt the blow Craving for life Surging scheming From birth until your death Moloch turns fertile futile Far too close to your contempt Passed down, grotesque What you hid so well Legacy of the absent God Founder abandoned To the medium you'll grow To kill for you Always been - always been another Part of you Fantasy that you don't know Reckless, reckless Reckless Find the answer to these prayers Learn in the fire Realising what was said Edges me further Moving on from where you failed When you should have died
Outside 04:37
This evil burns me up, consumes me Swallows me whole And destroys the light that Makes everything pure Outside A weeping echo of hate soon fades Amongst the crumbling ruins Of my shattered coherence Bleeding, slowly churning onwards Nightmares unbind The turning threads of life Demise of an identity Moulting into obscure, tortuous convolutions Locking into me Throughout my chemistry This wrath just waiting Eager to devour Outside My saddened soul is noticing Decay and carelessness Ploughing wrinkles into the face Of humanity Turning Turning all true will to age Turning all will to destruction As we all indulge in one last dance Towards extinction Sweet melancholy madness still finds A tragic beauty to this decaying ensemble As I reminisce upon the fallen beauty of the past Its feelings fallen forever To the starving void of time Outside
I'm becoming further distracted from a view As if I were ensconced in an evil dream A prisoner of the accurate articulate inherent Deceptive Limitations of reasoning So - you foster doubt As to who you are what it's about Where we came from What if this is it? This parody of the human spirit We follow through Aghast in the machine Trapped in the semblance of a dream Of what he took Transcendental religious experience Examine the precarious sutures of reality When you enter the prison of the mind The same world and again you will be Wilful spurious yearning for another Alien distortion possessing the body Witness the voice in abhorrent dimensions Subdue and transform obscene agency The toll of pain endure the face In time's illusion Entranced in future visions bleak Their blade scars echoes in our sleep Remember as you enter Into the age of affliction The purpose of the will Is to triumph in adversity Ritual Of the mirror image Of the mirror act Of the mirror of man
Building the future with our fists and hate Disturbed by talking heads that speak for us Enter the brave new age of the martyr Cabled, televised Frontiers of civilisations And arena disappear In an era of the unfettered voyeur The clamour crows Cowards Determined Intrusive To defile Desensitised by neural lords of mass isolation Wielding power without control Surrender to an insidious apathy Sex class racial savagery Of cruel and ridicule Slaughter of man Honoured time and time again Skin tout over bones Of agony The lie The churning of the mind Infuse the I Ready to create or perpetrate The new totalitarian ideals Perpetuated myth will die Just like any other meme Made of beasts
Fire - Combustion: a process, a weapon, and a tool Hate - the angst that brings my blood to boil The refuge and agony of fools Termination of lucidity Poisoning everything Regression Turning to the sign of the cross Frightened delusion of sanctity Burning the sign of the cross Heightened illusion of superiority In you - soon entomb Betrayal of traits that unify Betrayal of giving in For god to even your scores To a sadistic suffering Icon of flesh What if your crime Polluting innocent minds Reached another low? Are you too idle or too thick to deal With the complexities of what is real? Ill? Insane? Vomiting memes: Gangrene of the mind Screaming for a beyond So desolate within Petrified to the core Staring into the illusion Screaming for a beyond Desperate, never giving in Incoherent Bleed for the infinite mercy of god In the staring faces of those who died In the faces of dead Icons of flesh
Mire of slime Cancerous purulent goitre Malnourished souls Festering pustule lingering sore Tired of hysterical dream Of what this all could mean Gather relish the death Remaining secrets never kept Oblivious to what is yet Future sentience bitterness Slogans stridently Out of the grotesque concrete Boiling blaring Heinous and total war Polarise tyrannise Hone your ideology No place for doubt or hesitation Only global holocaust can appease this monster Shacking unimaginable truth replaces reality Disguised in the guise of justice Holy war is the new rock'n'roll Nazis, feminists Extremely catholics Haredim, panthers and homicide brothers Right/left-wing lawyers Funded capitalists Gay righteous activists Newspeak communists Fascists, crypto-fascists, neo-fascists Atheists, creationists Bible-bashing cartoonists Ready for the war grinder All throw their oil on the fire Nobody gives their life for a cause It is torn away Torn Echoing through desolate ruins Of recurring nightmares After the fact no one cares For the children of this world of hate
New Quest 04:37
I call a saviour to fight And make sense of me I've run out of reason The amber flickers All the years I've only seen this way Roaring hearts in the fire of what might have been I am not worthless - this is not A cry for help Nor is it a phase I am going through It's freezing inside What am I doing? Who are you here for? Why are we dying? Where were we? All my life I've had this void to fill Blended in with the clouds or buried within Vain attempts to fight the entropy Gleaming all of the fire of might yet be It matters not If it lasts Only for an instant As real as we will ever be Sleep Sleep Sleep with me


released September 17, 2007


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Damim London, UK

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